Oprah Builds Set Entirely Of Chocolate; People Wonder Why America Is So Fat
Today’s Oprah featured an edible set made entirely of Godiva Chocolate and we don’t even have to write jokes anymore. We’re not even sure what’s more disturbing, the decadent wastefulness of this display in the midst of the worst recession of our generation or the mental image of the fattest lady on television shoving a chocolate chandelier into her mouth. You be the judge.
Someone should tell Oprah that visualizing oneself thin only works when practiced in tandem with, oh, I don’t know, not eating Willy Wonka’s lobby.
For a clip, keep reading after the jump!
Maybe she isn’t going to eat it all herself, maybe she is going to invite Kathy over to help her. Ack! Why does it bring such immense pleasure to imagine the richest woman in the universe crying over a chocolate chess set? Or lunging into a chocolate fireplace Augustus Gloop style.
This is why Oprah is going to be a fat chick for the rest of her life. Because she needs Bob Greene to tell her that this sort of thing is a bad idea. Seriously though, Oprah might as well get as much binge eating in as she can before she leaves Chicago in 2011. Not every fat old lady has the luxury of living in a city where everything comes wrapped in bacon and every third person looks like a Fisher Price Weeble.