As you have probably already seen, JACK’S Cougar Madness is already underway. (Good luck ladies.) But there may be some of you out there, not familiar with the term Cougar when used in this lexicon. If you are one of those people, I really gotta wonder what rock you’ve been hiding under but it’s ok, Cranfill is here for you to explain this phenomenon. UrbanDictionary.com provides the following definition for the Cougars JACK FM is looking for.
Cougar-Coo-garr- Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the “hunt” for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in South Bay (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. “Man is cougar’s number one prey”
Ok so now you know WHAT Cougars are, what are some good examples? Well, agreed upon by the JACK FM Staff, (me), here is JACK FM’s Cougar Hall of Fame. Notable omissions may have occurred but I am writing this on Friday and I am trying to get out of here so I can start my weekend. (see-drinking myself stupid) What? Momma always told me honesty is always the best policy.
- Enter JACK’S Cougar Madness.
Courtney Cox- DOB-6/15/64. Total Cougar, bonus points for having TV show entitled COUGAR TOWN. We’ll overlook the husband choice…..for now.
Demi Moore- DOB-11/11/62. Undeniable inductee to the Cougar HOF considering her courtship of Ashton Kutcher. Well played Demi, well played.
Mariah Carey- DOB- 3/27/70- Much like Demi Moore, Mariah stamped her ticket into the HOF when she married her baby cub, Nick Cannon. Enter JACK’S Cougar Madness.
Elizabeth Hurley-DOB-6/10/65. It’s Elizabeth Hurley. I shouldn’t have to really explain this one. And serious, Hurley….where you been? Enter JACK’S Cougar Madness.
Madonna- DOB- 3rd Century A.D.- Madonna is almost 2 full centuries older than her last boyfriend, model Jesus Luz. Well done Madge.
Catherine Zeta-Jones- DOB-9/25/69. I dunno bout you, but when I saw her manning that laser field in the movie Entrapment, I was hooked. Cougar attack me anytime CZ.
Cheetara- DOB- Unknown. I watched Thundercats in the mid-to-late 80′s and Cheetara had to have been in her 20′s then, thusly making her Cougar eligible now in 2010. Tell me you wouldn’t. Enter JACK’S Cougar Madness.
Marisa Tomei- DOB- 12/4/64. ’64? DAAAAMN Tomei, you sexy. And you is a Cougar. And my gramma doth suck. Enter JACK’S Cougar Madness.
Sharon Stone- DOB- 3/10/58. Yep. 1958. Still though, she remains a fox and let’s be honest, after Basic Instinct….well, you know. Think you can compete? Enter JACK’S Cougar Madness.
Tawny Kitaen- DOB-8/5/61- Honestly, I have no idea what Tawny even looks like these days but she gets the automatic bid in my book for the work she did on the hood of a Jaguar in 1987.
So there it is. The inaugural class of the JACK FM Cougar Hall of Fame. The lucky lady that wins the JACK FM March Cougar Madness Tournament will also be inducted into the Hall but more importantly, she drives away with that 2010 Nissan 370-Z. Saaaaaaaaa-WEEEEEET! Good luck ladies.
- Enter JACK’S Cougar Madness.