The Cult Movie of the Week – Suburban Commando
A lesson learned this week is to never put a WWF star in a motion picture, especially in a family friendly movie. This is not the best (and I mean worst) Hulk Hogan film. That would be his crapterpiece, Santa With Muscles. However, Suburban Commando is a giant snooze fest with some great eye-rolling scenes.
The Plot: Hulk Hogan stars as Shep Ramsey, an intergalactic warrior who fails to protect a space President. While escaping from the bad guys, he crash lands on Earth. There, he rents a room from Charlie Wilcox’s (Christopher Lloyd) family, and waits for his ship to recharge. The intergalactic evildoers come to Earth to kill Hulk and fail miserably. Hulk wins; end of movie.
Suburban Commando isn’t as laughably bad as Santa With Muscles, but the acting is still groan-inducing. Christopher Lloyd, (Doc. Brown from Back to Future), has as much pizzazz as Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s. We know Hulk doesn’t have much range as a good actor would, but the fact that he doesn’t deliver any signature wrestling moves, is a crying shame. And having a terrible script doesn’t help either. Hulk says lines like, “Right suburb, wrong planet,” and spends most of his time dealing with teen skateboarders, cats in trees, mimes, and old ladies. What was this writer smoking?
Hulk learns how to play video games in this classic scene:
And the obvious product placement of Prestone anti-freeze:
See you next week for a special St. Patty’s Day cult movie!