How to “Calm” a Cat in Heat
Equipment is listed as “1 cat in heat, 1 q-tip.” This is the kind of lesson that you want to file under the “Never Have to Use” category of pet ownership.
[pullquote quote=" If humans had orgasms with the intensity of a cat serviced in this way there would be no such thing as war, hunger, capitalism or God." credit =''TinFoilGod"]
The piece really speaks for itself, but highlights include this helpful, uh, “tip”:
“…there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.”
‘Everybody Wants to Be a Cat,’ from Disney’s Aristocats:
- If you had to do this, but didn’t want to, would you just take your cat to the vet and have it put to sleep? Or would you, like a rational person, just get your cat fixed?