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World Cup: USA vs Algeria Preview

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algeria World Cup: USA vs Algeria Preview
Lee Greenwood and Gods’ favorite country, the U.S of A is set to take on Algeria in their last game of Group C play of the 2010 World Cup tomorrow at 7am PST. Since Algeria is located high in the Andes and has a history shrouded in mystery, Dr. Cranfill thought it prudent to do some research to shed some light on America’s next opponent…

The first thing you should know is that Algeria HATES America. Why? Well because back in 1941 the producers and director of a little movie called Casablanca reneged on a promise. Casablanca was originally entitled Mostaghanem, after a sea port town on Algeria’s northern coast. Trouble was, the film’s producers found out in pre-production that Humphrey Bogart’s infamous lisp prohibited him from pronouncing Mostaghanem correctly so they switched the set of the movie, and the title, to Casablanca in the neighboring country of Morocco. That lone decision cost Algeria millions of dollars in revenue and even more in global notoriety. That’s a totally true story BTW.

And Algerians have carried that grudge for over 60 years now and will carry that grudge and hostility onto the soccer pitch come tomorrow morning. Question is, should America be worried?

No, not really. Looking back over Algeria’s history one thing is constant. They are constantly getting their asses kicked. The Berbers, the Romans, Arab Muslims, the Vandals, the Ottomans, the Spanish, and even the French have all conquered the parcel of land that is now known as Algeria.

I mean, cmon. You guys got conquered by the French? Really? The Romans and Vandals are one thing but the Frogs? And not only did you get conquered by the French but you let it linger for 132 years!!! You know what the Cranberries told us about letting it linger.

So yeah. Algeria apparently is comfortable with getting their ass kicked. It’s in their DNA.

You know what ISN’T in their DNA? Rock and roll. Check out this cover of the Clashs’, Rock the Casbah by Algerian artist Rachid Taha…

C’mon guy. That’s what the Spanish call El Terrible.

I will say this about the Algerians. Their national debt is estimated only at 3.3 billion compared to the 13 TRILLION AND COUNTING of the United States.

So in conclusion…………..sorry, I have no idea what the point of all this is. CBS Corporate wanted us to write something about the World Cup so here you go guys.

GO USA!!!

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