Despite our totally unfounded theories of demonic trades and bribes for eternal life, we haven’t yet heard the results from the Knome researchers in Cambridge, Massachusetts about why [lastfm]Ozzy Osbourne[/lastfm] is the biggest medical miracle in Metal.
But, one huge American music publication is willing to take their chance on Osbourne (and presumably their readers lives) and have employed [lastfm]Ozzy Osbourne[/lastfm] to dispense medical advice via a health column. Umm. That is absurd. And awesome.
Find out after the jump which music magazine is willing to sell their journalistic souls for a prescription from the Doctor of Darkness and Rock n’ Roll!
Rolling Stone. The magazine recently asked for questions from their readers to relay to the “Doctor of Darkness”:
Rolling Stone has a new health columnist: none other than [lastfm]Ozzy Osbourne[/lastfm]. We are soliciting questions right now for Ozzy to answer in the pages of Rolling Stone. If you have a health issue that you need answers on, please enter questions below. All questions must include your first name and hometown, which will run in the magazine; please also include your e-mail address (strictly for fact-checking purposes — not for publication). Questions that are selected will run in the July 23rd, August 6th or August 20th issues of Rolling Stone.
One commenter bpusser already asked :
Hi Ozzy, Wondering if you can help me with a health issue. A muscle in my left eye is weak and causes me to see double. I have prisms in my eyeglass lenses but sometimes they don’t do the trick.
We are pretty sure the Jack audience can think up much better questions than that for the “iron man.”
“Has he lost his mind? /Can he see or is he blind? /Can he walk at all, /Or if he moves will he fall? /Is he alive or dead? /Has he thoughts within his head? /We’ll just pass him there /Why should we even care?”
- Do you even care that Ozzy Osbourne is employed to give “health” advice? If so, what question would you ask him?
[Source: Rolling Stone]