Hallelujah, hallelujah, PRAISE JEEBUS!!! NFL FOOTBALL SEASON is here friends!! Time to hold down the couch all day Sunday and gamble recklessly. That is where Dr. Cranfill comes in…Check out his picks for NFL Week 1…..
A few of you may remember I used to do weekly pick em’s against the spread a few years back. Did quite well in fact. I received several emails thanking me for money won. Because honestly guys n gals, it’s not gambling if you know what you’re doing, it’s investing.
Minnesota Vikings vs New Orleans Saints (-5)
So the defending Super Bowl Champion Saints are a 5 point favorite at home in the NFL Thursday night season opener. I say bollocks to that. Unless Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue is blaring from a loudspeaker and I am at the Body Shop on Sunset Blvd, I don’t like TEASES and neither does Jesus. This is the year Brett Favre gets smited for his teasing ways. Saints blow out the Vikes, take the Saints.
Green Bay Packers vs Philadelphia Eagles (+3)
Vegas likes the Packers as a 3 point favorite on the road. I do too. Maybe it’s my blind hatred for everything Pennsylvania or maybe it’s because the Eagles are going with a 1st year starter at QB and the Packers are a trendy Super Bowl pick this year. Whatever the case, this will be a shootout and a pick on the over at 47½ may not be a bad call either. Take the Pack or the over.
Oakland Raiders vs Tennessee Titans (-6)
Oh another football season always brings us the inane ramblings of Raiders fans. Declaring that this, THIS YEAR, is their year and they are going to the Super Bowl. And here I thought Bristol-Meyers-Squibb had invented a cure for pathological delusions. They are a 6 point dog in this game and you know what? Aside from drinking and gambling, enabling is another hobby of mine so feel free. Take the Raiders to cover the spread.
San Diego Chargers vs Kansas City Chiefs (+4½)
Oh the poor Kansas City Chiefs. Underdogs on their home turf, doomed for another craptastic season. You would think they were punished enough what with the Trail of Tears and the sale of the island of Manhattan for sea shells and a back issue of Hot Rod Magazine. Sigh. A shame really. Look for the Chiefs to make a run late in this game and maybe even possibly cover the spread. Remember the Chargers always suck early. Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn’t even try to wager this game. I am only writing it up because some of YOU PEOPLE are Chargers fans.
So there it is. The first 4 pack of Dr. Cranfill’s NFL Investment Strategies. Check back next week and we’ll see how I did. And remember, it’s not gambling if it’s a sure thing.