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This Is What Happens When You Make A Request

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Woman falls down stairs after making request at JACK FM

Well, JACK’s 5th Show may be over, but the craziness keeps on coming. Fans all over the festival grounds were so excited that [lastfm]Vanilla Ice[/lastfm], [lastfm]The Cult[/lastfm], and [lastfm]The Steve Miller Band [/lastfm]performed, they could have sworn we were recognizing their request demands ( a terrible oxymoron).

To honor this phenomenon of absurdity, we’ve drafted a letter addressing you, the loyal listeners.

Dear Freddie, Ricardo, Harry, Sally, Carmen, Diego, Butch, Cassidy, and everybody else,

Hey! Long time no see.  We think the last time we saw each other was at Rebecca’s Post-Op Party. Man! That was a freaky shindig. We still have the pictures… can you say blackmail?

So how are the kids? How’s the job? How’s that sexy secretary who always wears black thongs on Fridays? What’d you say her name was… Kandi? We could have sworn we saw her the other day at the strip… a bar.

Not a lot of new things to report on our end. We just finished our Fifth show – can you believe we haven’t gotten canceled yet? – and it was the best one yet. Vanilla Ice even ninja rapped! It was so exciting, we let the Sticker Pimps stay out past their 8:30 curfew.

However, one thing is buzzing around like a flea in our ear… As you know we never did take requests, but for some odd reason we are being bombarded. You have been calling us, posting emails, trolling our boards, and even sending us requests hidden in chocolate birthday cakes (that one was actually pretty good. Delicious!)

With the inflation of requests pounding upon our door, we knew something had to be done. We’re sorry everyone, but we need to remind you – will not be taking requests anytime soon.

Don’t be offended, it happens to everyone. Please don’t stop the contact -We love hearing back from you. This pen-pal thing is a real treat. However, if you try to sneak in another request when you write back, we can’t take any responsibility if “Achy Breaky Heart” goes on repeat for forty-eight hours.

LOL (lots of love),

Jack Effem

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