George Michael Befriends Cell Mate, Finds New Bodyguard?

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George Michael finds new bodyguard in jail

“Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body(guard)
I know not everybody
Has got a body(guard) like you…”

Do you like the new lyrics? We do. It seems that “Faith” singer [lastfm]George Michael [/lastfm]is enjoying his jail time more than we ever thought possible. Did someone make a new friend in the shower or is Georgie finally Original Gansta?

In the midst of his 8-week jail sentence for a DUI + marijuana possession combo, George Michael has finally found a friend. According to sources on the inside, Michael was quiet and shameful at first, hanging his head low like a freshman at Prom. Reportedly, he was frightened, scared, and terrified – unable to gain respect from the meaner, grittier upperclassmen inmates.

It wasn’t until Robert Bleach, the biggest, toughest, rumbliest and tumbliest mutha trucker of them all stepped up and took Michael under his wing. Not only did Bleach act as a bodyguard, he offered up full protection from (and we’re not making this up) “the bullies“.

It seemed as though Michael’s course overload has turned into an extended recess. No more shanking in the shower! No more razors in his juice box! With a powerful right-hand-man at his beck and call, inmates and prison guards alike are leaving the man alone to go about his usual business (which we assume is smoking pot and hiding in bushes). 

It’s a good thing! If George Michael were to get bullied and beat up during his mandatory detention, he may be too battered and broken to make it to band practice on time! How else are we gonna hear the next big hit from [lastfm]Wham![/lastfm]?

[Report borrowed from MusicNews]

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