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Slash To Begin New Venture As Horror Film Director

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Slash, your newest Horror film director

Here at JACK FM, we know that one good scare deserves another. With only weeks ahead until Halloween knocks on our door, our tradition continues – go out of our way to find the spookiest, scariest, and downright frightening movies to keep our office interns on their toes. Monday it was Scream. Yesterday it was a Jersey Shore marathon.

But of all the gore-fests and monster films we make them peek at through their blankets, one horrifying idea hangs above us like a suspended Jack-O-Lantern. It seems that [lastfm]Slash[/lastfm] would like to reinvent himself as – wait for it – a Horror film director.

The new production company, cleverly titled Slasher Films, is already set in motion. It seems that Slash is all ready to retire the black top hat for a plaid fedora, or whatever Horror film directors wear.

When we first heard the news, we buzzed around the water cooler passing phrases like, “Huh? What?” After our brains digested his odd revelation, our vocabulary returned and we were able to string together coherent thoughts. Our disbelief slowly became… well, greater disbelief.

Slash is a staple of Rock-n-Roll, not a filmmaker!

According to the legend himself, “I’ve always been a huge horror fan and creating films that take you back to the days where horror movies actually scared the hell out of you is something I’ve always wanted to do. My audience is made up of young, edgy, discerning consumers, with an appetite for quality and a hint of anarchy.”

True words, Mr. Slash. But let us not forget that other musician who dabbled in scary movies. Remember Rob Zombie? He directed the flop remake of already perfect John Carpenter’s Halloween. That movie is a classic case of film-induced-nightlight-dependency.

And what does Slash want to start with? According to Slash,their first production will be Nothing To Fear, a horror thriller about a small-town family haunted by a blood-sucking demon.

We’re taking bets on whether or not the blood-sucking demon turns out to be Axl Rose in disguise. Any takers?

[Killed off at nme.com, but will return in the sequel]

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