Cats Are People Too. No, Seriously, She Does Jury Duty

cat jury duty Cats Are People Too. No, Seriously, She Does Jury Duty

by Jordy Altman

We all knew that chick who doted WAYYY too much on her kitten. Maybe she would invite you over for a movie, or maybe the big game was on, but it would always end up the same way:

“Wanna see my cat dressed up like Batman?!”

No. We don’t want to see your cat dressed up as Batman, nor Clark Gable, nor Micky Mouse, nor a 1940’s gangster (complete with tommy gun). In fact, we would be perfectly happy not seeing your cat at all. We’re allergic.

Alas, we kept our mouths shut. We let our entertainment shift from the television to the feline, even for a fleeting second. Maybe, just maybe if we paid enough attention to that stupid cat for five minutes, it would be over… but it’s never done. Once our host is fixated on her Mr. Winkles, a transformation occurs – the cat is no longer a pet, but a part of the family.

Once you consider your cat “part of the family”, we’re sure there are necessary actions that need to be taken. Give her its own room, make him buy groceries, take him out to the park, sign her up for extracurricular activities. Do whatever. It’s become obvious there is no way we’re going to be able to stop you.

One woman took this kitty concept a step further. Anna Esposito listed her cat, Tabby Sal, on her census. Doesn’t seem like it could do too much damage – until Tabby Sal was called to jury duty.

And so it goes. Ms. Esposito is now bent out of shape, because cats can’t tell the difference between guilty and not guilty! Hell, they can’t even talk!

“”When they ask him guilty or not guilty?  What’s he supposed to say – miaow?” says Esposito.

So there it is. Tabby Sal has been ordered to appear for jury duty. You know how hard it is to circumvent the law, right? Esposito has since sent a letter to the judge, confirming that Tabby Sal is, in fact,  “a domestic short-haired neutered feline.”  

Still, we think it may be a good idea. Justice may be blind, but cats can see in the dark! Surely there could be something we missed that Tabby Sal will uncover…



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