Bram Stoker

According to Bram Stoker’s Wikipedia page, he is the author of the fictional novel “Dracula” and he “Died” on April 20, 1912. And you can believe that if you choose to. I, on the other hand, think Dracula was Bram Stoker’s autobiography, an he’s still out there, living on the blood of the innocent.

The Shillelagh will hold him off, but really, we’re gonna need to stab Bram Stoker in the heart if we’re ever to be truly safe.

And if Bram hadn’t written that autobiography, we probably wouldn’t be stuck with this current crop of sucky vampires like those in the Twilight series and junk. Although Vampires did give us this scene, so maybe they’re not all bad-