(Photo credit: Sasha Herf)
The stock markets entirely too volatile. The gold market is flooded and nobody is buying Beanie Babies. There’s only one sure-fire way to make money these days. And that’s by following Dr. Cranfill’s NFL Investment Strategies. Let’s see if we can continue his hot streak from last year….
In quick review, I did go 8-0 picking against the spreads in the playoffs last year and JUST missed predicting the exact score of Super Bowl XLV. Let’s see if I can keep it going. I doubt it but hey…sunshine, dog’s ass…..
Green Bay Packers @ Carolina Panthers (+9½)
The defending Super Bowl Champions vs the last place team in the league from last year? I’m surprised the spread isn’t 100. The Packers offense looked unstoppable against the Saints Week 1 and the Panthers just lost their All-Pro linebacker Jon Beason for the year so expect a total shootout here. Take the Packers to cover, and take a look at what happened to some Panthers cheerleaders once upon a time….
Houston Texans @ Miami Dolphins (+3)
Jack FM Sticker Pimp, the Hauck, is a Dolphins fan so I feel bad for telling everyone this but……the Dolphins absolutely suck. And I don’t mean like in a Linda Loveless sorta way, I mean in a Guns N Roses without Slash sorta way. An El Pollo Loco without the Chicken Verde Quesadilla sorta way. Dolphins minority owner Marc Anthony may have gotten rid of the headache that was being married to Eric Cartman’s hand, but he’ll have a season long headache watching the ’Fins. Take the Texans to cover.
Oakland Raiders @ Buffalo Bills (-3)
Who do I take here with Buffalo as the home 3 point favorite? I think THIS should answer your question….
San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots (-6½)
This is THE marquee matchup of the week and honestly, I want nothing to do with investing on this game. You thought tech and oil stocks were volatile, they’re downright boring compared to a Pats/Bolts matchup. But I am a big fan of sticking by your home team and since the Chargers will be calling Los Angeles home next year, I’ll take them to at least cover, if not outright pull the upset. It’s like Andree 3000 from Outkast once said, “it’s not where you from but where you pay rent” and last I checked, even if it is too damn high, I pay rent in Los Angeles.