Weekend, couch, football, beer, hijack a Hummer limousine , have a police dog almost bite off your Johnson, jail, football, couch, rinse, repeat.
Just another weekend in Whittier!
Last Saturday, an unknown man hijacked a Hummer limousine after holding-up the driver at gunpoint. As no one else was in the limousine at the time, the man proceeded to drive away with the stolen car.
California Highway Patrol officers (these guys?) pursued the vehicle. At times, heavy smoke was seen drifting out the windows.
The suspect was apprehended after pulling off into a residential area, stripping his clothes, and running amok. He would have gotten away with it too, but a police dog saw his table scraps flapping in the wind and tackled the hijacker to the ground.
“I thought he was smuggling illegal snausages,” said Sgt. Barkley, the police dog. “It was too small to be the real thing.”
Police escorted the suspect to Whittier Hospital for treatment. Was he arrested? Probably not. The official news report didn’t mention the possibility of jail time. Why would it though?
After all, if stealing a car and running around naked on a Saturday night is a crime, we shoulda been locked up years ago.