10 Alternative New Years Eve Plans

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JEWEL SAMAD / AFP / Getty Images

JEWEL SAMAD / AFP / Getty Images

New Years Eve is right around the corner, and, consequently, so are the cliché ways to spend your night.

You could enjoy Jack FM’s lack of commercials, but there have got to be some better way to spend the last night of 2011. Go to a bar, get drunk, and kiss some stranger? Sure, that’s fun, but it gets old, and so do the herpes.

So if you really want a great start to 2012, here are ten ways to spend December 31st that you may not have considered.

10 - Law and Order Marathon

It happens every year and usually goes unnoticed. There is no better way to prepare to take on a brand new year than watching criminals get locked up as Jerry Orbach sarcastically belittles them.

An inspiring start to the year for all.


9 – Taxi Time

Legality issues notwithstanding, starting your own cab company that runs on New Years Eve is nothing short of genius. Get the word out early, because people will be in desperate need for rides.

And because this night is traditionally difficult for people to get a cab, you can gouge them on the prices! Two hundred dollars a mile, fifty extra if you can’t remember your address.

People will be more than willing to pay top dollar, and may even buy you a burger from In ‘n Out during their late night food stop


8 – Occupy New Years

Back in the day,  you would pay an outrageous amount of money to get in the club, but once inside, it was endless free food and drinks.  That is truly a relic of a different generation.

Now, the only thing that comes complimentary with the club price is a small glass of bad champagne. People shouldn’t stand for this, and these club promoters need to know it.

So dress up, go to the club and stand outside and protest all night. As an added bonus, make a angry sign and see how long it takes to get arrested.


7 – Shopping for Christmas

Buy the presents for Christmas 2012 now, to ensure you avoid the pepper sprayers who come out every fourth Friday of November.


6 – Bucket List

Once you have made your resolutions to be a better person, this night is your last chance to do everything one last time before giving it up for 2012.

Do it all as much as you can so you likely wont have the desire to come the New Year.


5 – Happy New Year, Twice

Head to the Arizona-California border and ring in he new year – twice.

Ring it in once in Mountain Time, and once in Pacific Time.  Think of the first New Year as a dress rehearsal for your resolutions.

If you fail at your resolution within the first hour, you have one last chance. It is a scientific fact that you are twice as likely to succeed in your resolutions if you experience two starts to 2012.


4 – Facebook Cleanup

If you didn’t speak to someone in 2011, you shouldn’t be facebook friends with him or her in 2012. End of story.


3 – Eat apples and Honey

This tradition for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish Near Year, is not only symbolic of hoping for a sweet new year, but tastes absolutely delicious.


2 – Sleep

Try something new and different and begin the New Year without a hangover.

Good luck.


1 – Road Trip

Go to State College, PA, wait for Jerry Sandusky to be arrested again, and sarcastically belittle him in the fashion you learned from Jerry Orbach in the Law and Order Marathon.

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