Like it or not, the world is ending. Are you prepared?
Well, we know you all too well, so the brain-trust at Jack FM has your back. We’ve compiled a list of the ten essential things you’ll need to do to prepare for the end of the world (as we know it and we feel fiiiiiiine).
Since we only have a few more months to live, we figured you’d better start preparing!
10. Repent! Repent! Repent!
And you thought that whack-job on the corner of the street handing out flyers was lying. Now don’t you feel foolish? It’s not too late to do the right thing.
9. Remember to turn off the coffee pot before the countdown hits zero.
You don’t want that to be the last thought on your mind, do you? Seriously, what a lame way to go.
8. Finally confess to stealing your sister’s Tiger Beat Magazine when you were 12 to look at pictures of Debbie Gibson.
You don’t want to go to Hell a liar do you? Just be honest, there’s no shame in it. Debbie Gibson was hot.
7. Plan out your emergency evacuation route.
Hey, it’s worth a shot.
Just in case there is a chance you can outrun the Four Horsemen, this should probably take the place of an emergency kit you might have. We suggest you stay low to the ground.
6. You’ve always wanted to tell your boss off, right?
Uh, well, there’s no better time. Clock’s a-tickin’.
5. Use Priceline to get the cheapest one-way ticket to Hell.
Seats will fill up fast.
You better believe William Shatner already has his. And one for every person in his family. If you wanna name your own price, book now. You know prices only go up the closer you get to your travel date.
4. Challenge an alligator to a wrestling contest.
We’ve been told this is what dying feels like. Might as well go down fighting.
3. Watch the entire series of ‘Lidsville’.
Because, honestly, you can’t die without having seen at least one episode. And, it will give you a good idea of what hell is like.
2. Read ‘War and Peace’. In Russian.
Because you will wish the end of the world was coming sooner.
1. Admit it, you like The Bee Gees.
It’s okay, we won’t judge, we’re all in this together. They had tons of #1 songs and top 10 hits. We get it. In fact… don’t tell anyone, but-
Wait, did we leave the coffee pot on?