So Valentine’s Day is coming up… no pressure.
We know that you’ll be racking your brain to come up with the perfect gift for your gal, but may we advise you to not choose one of the following seven.
Unless, of course, you prefer to spend Valentine’s Day alone.
Looney Toons Clothing
There is absolutely nothing wrong with Looney Toons, let’s start out by prefacing with that. But there’s a time and a place for our beloved Bugs Bunny and Taz. Like on our old VHS tapes in storage.
And although they have been notorious for popping up on denim shirts, denim hats, and various khaki colors across the US, we encourage you to avoid them in your Valentine’s Gift Elimination Process.
No offense, Tweety.
The Shake Weight has gotten a bad rap lately. Sure it looks absolutely ridiculous and those commercials are borderline sexually inappropriate, but come on people!
But as tempted as you might be, we suggest you stay away from our favorite underarm fat buster. Even though it comes in pink.
We just think she might get the wrong idea.
(But if you want it for yourself, you can get it here)
Nickelback Boxed Set
Ah the gift of music. Given you have even relatively good musical taste, it can be a thoughtful and moving Valentine’s Day gift.
We hope we don’t need to (but obviously feel compelled to) point out that Nickelback is not, nor has ever been considered good music.
The upside is that their CDs make for some really great coasters. Or pointy little frisbees.
Who buys these anyway?
These little fellers are great…for microphones. Put one of these over a mic pack and you’re good to go.
That’s probably the only thing you’ll want to put it on though.
Unless you can do balloon animals. They’re really great for that, and let’s be honest, what worthwhile girlfriend says no to a balloon animal?
Hair Removal Kits
Nothing says romance more than a night in with some hot wax and a skin rash. Even if your gal resembles Robin Williams, loving tokens of hair removal will probably just get you removed from the house.
We do, however, admire your attention to detail. Kudos!
Unless your girl spends her downtime in a duck stand (that’s a thing, right?), you may want to stay away from camouflage. And we mean any camouflage.
Unless for some reason you’d like to make your girlfriend invisible, in which case may we suggest rethinking your relationship.
We know, a lint roller truly seems like a great gift for any occasion. Saving someone from clothing covered in cat hair is a pretty incredible thing. But when we did a poll of all the female Sticker Pimps, we found that a lint roller may get you into a sticky Valentine’s Day situation.
Get it? Sticky?