Trust us, we’re all about finding loopholes to get ourselves out of trouble… but we found one guy who has taken it to a whole new level. A very creepy level.
John Goodman (not that John Goodman), a 48 year-old Florida polo club owner, legally adopted his 42 year-old girlfriend. The adoption is thought to be a legal maneuver on Goodman’s part to protect his finances while he’s facing criminal charges.
The adoption comes on the tail of some questionable decisions made by Goodman. Although we think this move is pretty questionable as well.
And now that you mention it, we have some of our own questions for Daddy Warbucks here. For instance, what does he do when his girlfriend (excuse us, daughter), acts out?
- Grounded for a week with no computer?
- Add a parental block to the TV?
- Forbid going out to Sharon’s birthday party?
- Enforce an early curfew?
- Chaperon Prom?
And what about that father-daughter dance coming up? If they go, won’t they just creep out the other guests?
We can only imagine how pissed his real kids are going to be when they find out their new sister gets to stay up past 10 on school nights. Maybe if they behave, she’ll share that key to the liquor cabinet.