New Holidays Create New Happiness And Longer Weekends
Everyone enjoys a four-day work week.
Unfortunately, we won’t get another one until May. It is amazing how much better life is with only four days of work. It got us thinking: what if we had more of them?
1. Post Patty’s Day
We aren’t asking you to give us the day off for St. Patrick’s Day — that would be selfish. But we are asking you to give us the day off following St. Patty’s Day.
With the entire holiday basically devoted to drinking, it is just plain odd to expect us to work the next day. So perhaps we all use March 18 to take a time-out, spend the day with our families, and recover from our horrendous hangovers. Trust us, our work will be all the better on March 19.
2. Opening Day
As Joe Dimaggio once said, “you look forward to it like a birthday party when you’re a kid.”
Baseball is the American pastime, and yet most Americans work the day away during the first baseball games of the season. People wonder why football has become the most popular sport — it is simple logic: the sport is played when people don’t have to work.
Having this day free every April will help bring baseball to the forefront of American’s lives again. The people who already love the sport will be able to watch the games, and those who don’t will inevitably fall in love with the sport, due to the fact they get the day off.
3. Too Hot Day
August is a miserable month. It is the hottest time of the year, school starts, and there is not one holiday in sight. The closest holiday is Labor Day, and that holiday represents the end of Summer.
There has to be something to look forward to during the month that gave ‘dog days of summer’ it’s name. August 18 is traditionally known as one of the hottest days of the year. It is a perfect day to do nothing. Most people have already been in school for a week — give ’em a day off. There really is no better way to boost school morale that a day off school.
4. Election Day
We are Americans. We have democracy.
Lets not forget how good we got it. Every first Tuesday of November, we deserve the day off. When it is an election year, it ensures everyone is given ample time to vote. When it is an off-year, it is a great day to celebrate ourselves.
5. Surprise Day
And finally, everyone loves a good surprise.
This holiday should occur every year at a surprise moment. It is decided by the Senate in early January, but announced only a week before the day. It could be in February, it could be in June, or it could be the day after Christmas.
The beauty of this day is it changes every year and no one knows when it will be. (Sure, there may be a few scandals with the Senate using this holiday to serve their best interests, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there).
This holiday will indeed make traveling hectic, and cause mayhem is some people’s lives, but that is all part of the fun. If airlines give random discounts as soon as the day is released, it will be a race to get those last-minute plane tickets. What would America be without the fun of competition? And you always enjoy competition more when you have a four-day work week.