Oh, the land of opportunity, the great city of angels. After all, it is the entertainment capitol of the world, therefore one must constantly entertain his or herself. Here are some pragmatic ways to entertain one’s self while releasing endorphins and sculpting up for Jack’s Muscle Madness!
Unless you’re Zach Galifianakis, you must be in your prime in order to thrive in the entertainment industry. As there are many ways to tone those muscles, here are the methods Jack desires the most. Get to workin’ on your fitness…Jack is your witness…so delicious.
To obtain thunder thighs, it takes practice and dedication. This task is completed by none other than pole dancing. The amount of muscle build-up that occurs when ringin’ round a pole does not go unnoticed…pun intended. This top-notch work out is all kinds of beneficial for ladies and most definitely gentlemen. With enough practice you could end up in Cirque du Soleil.
Rollerblade Venice Boardwalk
Though it is cliche, it provides one with humor due to its self mutilating nature. Ladies out there, fruit-booting on the Venice boardwalk will give onlookers a blast from the past while you are workin’ those blades. For humans from the other gender pool, do not fruit-boot in Dogtown unless you’re wearing a Chewbacca suit.
Everyone knows “noshing and moshing” is sexy. Can’t fake the funk. When the music hits, the body responds, and in the case of many, this means moshing. Moshing is healthy for one’s mental, emotional, and physical health. It is the most appropriate time to lash out and release animosity, while building up the body’s adrenaline. Without mosh pits, there would be far too many domineering individuals affecting society. Long live punk!
The endless summer is among us, and it is time to ride waves of life…and of the ocean. This form of symbolism can create a platform for one to free their soul and gain some massive upper body strength, while they’re at it. Look out for great whites though! They might want a piece of that bod.
A well-known Los Angeles “hiking” spot is the Fryman Canyon trail in Hollywood. On this trail you can find the following: silicone injected wannabe actresses, metro sexual men with too much confidence, the infamous Hollywood sign, the Griffith Park Observatory, a bag containing a severed head… and more silicone injected wannabe actresses. Oh the Hollywood hills, so full of surprises…Hollyweird.
Fat bastard ain’t got nuthin’ on you. Do not fear, for sumo wrestling is the solution to many issues facing the several overweight Americans. Body image is a symbolic theme to sumo wrestling. If comfortable enough to wear a thong even with fat rolls hanging over, then one can surely reach their body image potential.
Say goodbye to the conventional treadmill, it’s time to get your groove on since the world is ending! As Los Angeles is a melting pot of culture, street art depicts the scene on many levels. Be a part of the L.A. street scene and give yourself a chance at getting discovered since that’s probably why you live here anyway. Street dancing allows you to explore your grooves and even recreate a Bone Thugs music video if you please.
Wall Sits / Streaking
Will Ferrell has demonstrated sportsmanship and muscle toning in many of his acting roles. Streaking in the middle of the night, basketball and yoga are among the many. While it is most effective to go streaking, some do not have the resources to do so. The next best thing is sitting against a wall as though you are sitting on a chair, and count down to Jack’s Muscle Madness.
Fencing has nothing to do with a fence. Fencing is an activity in which a nemesis uses a sword to dominate a fellow nemesis. Highly padded clothing and iron masks cover the potentially penetrable areas of the body. The rest of them will be sculpted.
As St. Patty’s Day is approaching, it is time to bust that kilt out of the closet. Channel your inner leprechaun and fulfill your St. Patrick’s day needs by river dancing. Indulge in the Celtic culture and impress all your friends, while your legs move faster than bloody hell.