[pullquote quote=”We’re actually in the middle of giving scientists the chance to do a 3D version of Tommy’s sex video–which is going to be opening the show. It’s going to poke out your eye…”]”You know, you may say that it doesn’t look like classic rock ‘n roll in the sense of what Elvis did, but all we’ve ever been, both bands I think, is Elvis on steroids,” said KISS guitarist Paul Stanley at a press conference this afternoon (March 20) at the Hollywood Roosevelt to announce the co-headlining tour with KISS and Mötley Crüe.
“It’s Elvis through a Marshall Amplifier. We’re there. We’re celebrating life. We’re celebrating all the things that life gives you…the freedom it gives you,” broke down the guitarist, sincerity showing through his stage make-up. “And we’re out there to say thank you to the fans.”
Co-headlining a show with Motley Crue dubbed simply The Tour, Stanley went on to say that they “never forget” seeing bands that let them down, but they want to “make sure nobody’s let down.”
“That’s why it’s called The Tour,” explained Stanley. “You see The Tour–you’ll be deafened, blinded, you’ll leave there stumbling out.”
The Tour, which consists of a 40-plus date national tour starting July 20th in Virginia, will feature the same “bombastic” stage theatrics, pyrotechnics, and hard rock swagger that one might suspect at a KISS or Motley Crüe show.
However, Mötley Crüe drummer, Tommy Lee, wouldn’t divulge any show secrets.
“Of course we have a lot of surprises,” said the drummer coyly. “We’re kind of known for those things. There’s a lot of things we can’t mention, of course. I think without giving away too much, I think everyone will just know to expect the unbelievable, the unexpected as usual.”
The infamous Gene Simmons of KISS stuck out his iconic tongue and retorted, “We’re actually in the middle of giving scientists the chance to do a 3D version of Tommy’s sex video–which is going to be opening the show. It’s going to poke out your eye…you’ll see that c**k coming right at your face.”
Following in Simmons’ lead and insouciant as ever, Motley Crue guitarist Mick Mars answered a question about his “health conditions” as bare-faced as possible.
“I could probably give you three words,” said the 60-year-old rock star. “I don’t care. As long as I can play, I don’t care.”
When it comes to such “multi-generational” bands as Motley Crue and KISS, age isn’t a number with their audience. When the span of KISS’ career was pointed out, Stanley replied,”I think, for us, KISS has turned into a tribal thing.
[pullquote quote=”What we’re trying to do is the largest secret society..It’s like this big cult where if you look across and you see your neighbor or your brother, it’s like thumbs up, we’re all in this together.”]”What we’re trying to do is the largest secret society,” Stanley elucidated. “It’s like this big cult where if you look across and you see your neighbor or your brother, it’s like thumbs up, we’re all in this together.”
“Yeah, it’s multi-generational,” Stanley continued. “It’s like a rite of passage. What was great twenty years ago, thirty years ago, forty years ago is great today and people want to share it with their kids and show them what the real deal is about. A lot people out there can sell millions of albums, but they can’t sell a phone-booth and that’s because they don’t know how to entertain.”
“We are entertainers and proud of it.”
This ability to entertain even inspired their tour mates. Motley Crue bassist, Nikki Sixx, confessed to having a KISS poster up in his room,
“I’ll be honest with you,” Sixx admitted. “Growing up…I had a KISS poster, an Aerosmith poster, and Sweet on the wall. For me to go out there and do this together is an honor…I think it’s a perfect match. It could be a match made in hell…but it’s a perfect match.”
Simmons agreed that the co-headling tour is a “perfect match.”
“Both Motley and KISS are united in one crusade,” Simmons said. “We’re sick and tired of girls getting up there with dancers and karaoke tapes in back of them.”
[pullquote quote=”No karaoke singers allowed. No fake bullsh*t. Leave that to the Rihanna’s and anyone who ends their name with an ‘A.'”]”What you’re going to hear onstage is live music,” continued Simmons. “All the bombs are real. All the music is real. The guys you’re seeing onstage playing their instruments are playing their instruments. No karaoke singers allowed. No fake bullsh*t. Leave that to the Rihanna‘s and anyone who ends their name with an ‘A.'”
KISS and Motley Crue’s tour will undoubtedly be raw, unbridled rock ‘n roll. Exactly what made them famous before technology and diluted media reputation stepped in and created “stars.”
In the words of Stanley: “We’re not going to be preaching about saving the whales. We’re not going to be talking about toxic sludge. We’re up there to rock ‘n roll.”
“Everyone deserves a night off and that’s what this is.”