WrestleMania: Pitting Wrestling Stars Against Jack FM Musicians
“Oooh oh, Oooh oh, WrestleMania!”
No, this not some sort of lame April Fool’s joke. This sh*t’s fo real. Wrestlemania XXVIII is this Sunday. And as you debate with your friends whether The Rock is gonna put his boot to John Cena’s ass, there’s no debating we would love to see these music Super Stars lace up their boots and enter the squared-circle verse one of WWE’s finest.
Henry Rollins vs. Mark Henry
He already thinks more highly of himself than most wrestlers, so why not? We’d love to see this larger-than-life persona take on the larger-than-life beings Mark Henry.
Danzig vs. Kane
We just want to see who can out psychopath the other. There would probably be a lot of standing and staring, and weird facial expressions, but we’d still pay to see them in the ring together.
LL Cool J vs. The Rock
Okay, Rock. You think you’re funny. (Okay, you are.) You think you’re sexy. (Dammit, you’re right again.) And you think you’ve got charisma. (Three for three, not bad.) But we dare you to compete with the charming charisma of LL Cool J. He didn’t earn the “LL” for nothing.
Billy Idol vs. CM Punk
Punk vs. Punk. Tattoo vs. Tattoo. Who really is the best in the world? We guess the real question is, “How many piercings are going to get (un)intentionally ripped out?”
Joan Jett vs. any WWE Diva
Look, we’re all for equal opportunity, especially when it comes to women fighting each other, but honestly, we’d rather see this bad ass chick kick the cry baby asses of any and all WWE Divas. Even Natalya. Actually, that might be a good match.
Sir Mix-a-lot vs. Brodus Clay
Let’s face it. When we choose to actually watch Brodus Clay attempt to “wrestle” (and we mean that one time we couldn’t find the remote) and not fast forward through his ridiculous antics, all we’re really seeing is an uglier, less talented Sir Mix-a-Lot.
Elton John (in his prime) vs. Goldust
So there probably wouldn’t be a lot of actual wrestling but there would definitely be a show. A flamboyant show at that. This match up pretty much defines the spectacle that is the WWE.
Scott Weiland vs. The Undertaker
Dead vs dead. A guy who repeatedly comes close to death versus the undead man himself. With The Undertaker putting his 19-0 WrestleMania record on the line on Sunday, we know for a fact if he were facing the STP/Velvet Revolver front man, he’d be a staggering 20-0.
What other match ups would you like to see? Triple H? The Miz? John Cena? R Truth?