Man Saws Off Foot To Keep Unemployment
We’ve done some pretty crazy things to get out of work.
Faked an illness, trained a monkey to push the play button, convinced our boss he was going insane… we’ve done it all . Well, that one time we held our breath until we passed out only got sent us to the nurse. But it was fun!
But cutting off a foot? We don’t hate it here that much. Well, depends on what foot it is… we’re rather fond of our left one. The right ones has been dragging us down.
When an Austrian man was about to meet with unemployment officials to decide whether or not he was physically able to start work, he completely freaked out.
No more unemployment?! But then that would mean he couldn’t day drink and wait around for his dream job as Chief of Invisible Unicorn Wranglers to appear!
As he was sitting next to the fire mulling over his bad luck, he saw the chainsaw in the corner, and DING! Brilliant idea!
“Why not just saw off a foot?,” he thought. “Then they’ll TOTALLY get that I’m unfit for work right now, and my dreams of wrangling unicorns will live to see another day!”
At least that’s what we imagine he thought.
So he did it – the man cut off his own foot and threw his appendage in the fire in order to destroy the evidence.
After having almost bled to death, the man finally called an ambulance. His foot, however, remained lost in the fire, too crispy to salvage.
And while the good news for him is that he gets to stay on unemployment, the bad news is that for the next 20 years those checks will be going to his medical bills.
Don’t worry fella, those unicorns will still be out there, just waitin’ for ya.