SPRING BREAK! WOOOOO! Except not really. With our hair a little more gray and our music is a little less loud, we’re clearly not in college anymore. We want to avoid spring break madness at all costs.
The beaches are obviously out, so is any bar that serves drinks with tiny umbrellas. Since we know how much you hate the combination of girls in bikinis and beer bongs, we compiled a top 5 list of the places you’re least likely find fun this Spring:
1. Pay a visit to the DMV or as we like to call it, Satan’s armpit. Any Department of Motor Vehicle office in Los Angeles is surely the polar opposite of Spring Break revelry. Want to steer clear of a wet t-shirt contest? Re-take your driver’s license picture! Become an organ donor! Who knows, some San Diego Spring Break-er might need a liver.
2. Go to the LA Public Library. You know what, who are we kidding? The only people who go to libraries are bums who want to look at pictures of naked people on the internet. On the other hand, you could hang out in the reference section and finally read up on the rash you’ve had for the past 4 months.
3. Stay home on the internet and watch Penguin Cam. Watching a live stream of freezing, socially awkward birds who can’t fly is the perfect anti-Spring Break activity. How could you possibly be further from Cancun? It’s genius!
4. Get your oil changed. While all the young’ns get ripped off by paying $9.00 for a Bud Light on South Padre Island, you can get ripped off by a grumpy man in nasty coveralls! BONUS: All the free crappy coffee you want!
5. Go to work, like the rest of us. No better place to avoid fun than sitting in a cubicle perfecting the art of pretending to work when your boss walks by. We do think that you deserve to let loose a bit this week, though. Go nuts, change your desktop wallpaper!