We here at JACK love the culinary arts. Well, who doesn’t love food?
As Americans, we feel that we have come up with some of the best food on the planet.
From chicken and waffles, donut hamburgers, and the world-famous turducken (a turkey stuffed with a duck and a chicken), the list goes on and on.
We are proud of the stamp we have left on the culinary scene.
But one of our culinary masterpieces is going to be taken away from us and sent across the pond.
According to The United Kingdom’s Pizza Hut, the chain is now offering a new style of stuffed crust pizza. Instead of the pizza being stuffed with cheese, it’s going to be stuffed with hot dogs.
Perfection, right? Wrong! This glorious masterpiece will only be sold in the United Kingdom.
What do the Brits know about cooking, anyways? We thought that England was known for its awful food.
And why would Pizza Hut, an American food chain, send what would arguably be the most Americanized pizza ever conceived over to the UK?
The worst thing about this is that Pizza Hut announced all of this on opening week of Major League Baseball.
That’s right, America’s pastime doesn’t even get to be partnered with The Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza.
It hurts. It hurts our souls as proud Americans, and it hurts our hearts (well our arteries, but whatever).
Think of all the children who will be deprived of the opportunity to taste this delicious masterpiece of the culinary arts.
So we have decided, much like our forefathers, to make a petition to bring The Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza home state-side, where it belongs.
We ask our faithful JACK listeners to join us in this fight.
Like this post, comment on it, spread the news through Facebook and Twitter, camp outside your local Pizza Hut pizzeria, even talk to your local congressman or woman; do whatever needs to be done to bring The Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza back home where it belongs in the USA.
We will not rest until this injustice is resolved and our pizza is home.
USA! USA! USA!