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How To Open a Champagne Bottle Like A Real Manly Man

Get out your monocle and smoking jacket, because you’re about to learn something usually reserved for men named Jeeves. If you have some bubbly lying around and want to celebrate winning the Man Cave with class, listen up. Or.. look up? Read up? Whatever. Pay attention.

You could be boring and use a corkscrew along with some girlie wiggling to open your champagne, but you’re not a boring person. Are you?  No. You are a manly man with a man cave filled with man things! MAN! Here’s what you’ll need to impressively open the bubbly.

1. A towel
2. A Hattori Hanzo samurai sword, the sword in the stone,  Gandalf’s sword, or a large kitchen knife.
3. A bottle of champagne that doesn’t have a twist off top.
4. Practice

Got it? Now make sure there isn’t anyone within stabbing distance because that would be bad. Here’s what you do:

1. Drape a towel on the arm you’re holding the bottle with. The bottle should be in your non-dominant hand.
2. Take off the wire cage around the cork.
3. Find the lip at the top of the bottle. Look at it. Be friends with it. It’s between this and the concave “crease” (neck) of the bottle. Where the crease and lip meet is the weakest point of the bottle. This is where you’re gonna do some damage.
4. Hold knife by the handle. It should be parallel with the floor with the blunt edge facing away from you. Do a practice swipe. Run the knife from the base of the bottle to the lip. Get a feel for the bottle.
5. When you feel comfortable, run the knife quickly up the bottle from the base of the neck to the lip. Quickly is the key word here. Quick and hard. Like your first driving test. The cork should pop off and champagne will fizz everywhere. It’s messy but looks cool.

If you still can’t quite get it, this wonderful video might help. The man in the tutorial has a British accent, a handlebar mustache, and is wearing a hat. These are all things you should definitely look into if you plan on regularly opening bottles of champagne in this manner.

Comments

One Comment

  1. Dana Payne says:

    If Cameron Diaz can do it then by golly I can too!

  2. @DonnieLeftTurn says:

    NO….THIS is how to open a champagne bottle like a real manly man!!! https://twitpic.com/9o3pgs

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