Movies In Theaters Today…and Coming Soon

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snow5 Movies In Theaters Today...and Coming Soon

Snow White sans dwarves, porn stars and killer fish, and a spotlight on the dance culture in here in our own backyard, the 213. We got new movies in theaters today and some epic-ness on the very near horizon….

Snow White and the Huntsmen (PG-13)- starring Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth (Thor), and that robot from Twilight.

Sufferers from achondroplasiaphobia need not worry, the dwarfs do not accompany Ms. White on this Brothers Grimm tale. But Charlize Theron as the evil Queen? Yes please.

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Piranha 3 DD (R)- starring Ving Rhames,  David Hasselhoff, and Katrina Bowden

Piranha 3D was deliciously awesome. If you disagree with that statement, you are wrong. And stupid. I somehow doubt this sequel can live up to the first one but who knows. I’ve been wrong before…….ONCE. Just watch the trailer.

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Battlefield America (PG-13)- starring a bunch of people you’ve prolly never heard of.

Just what America needs…another movie/tv show about dancing. Kevin Costner danced with wolves once but I guess that’s just a distant memory. Now it’s all poppin’ and lockin’ or whatever it is the kids are doing these days. You people disgust me.

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And two more trailers here of note, Ridley Scott’s Prometheus comes out NEXT Friday and it should be 11 shades of awesome.

and Matt Damon is done as Jason Bourne but the franchise ain’t over quite yet. Enter Jeremy Renner as the new Bourne along with Edward Norton playing the villain in the Bourne Legacy. (Out August 3rd) This trailer is complete bad-assery.

COMING SOON
Prometheus (June 8th)
Madagascar 3: Europes Most Wanted (June 8th)
Bel Ami (June 8th)

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