Movies in Theaters This Weekend

June 8, 2012 3:02 PM

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picmonkey collagemm Movies in Theaters This Weekend

This weekend brings us the highly anticipated Ridley Scott flic, Prometheus, the unexpected and unnecessary Madagascar 3 (was there even a Madagascar 2?), and some movie with that sparkly Twilight jerk.

Prometheus (R)- starring Michael Fassbender, Idris Alba (STRINGER BELL!!), and Charlize Theron.

Director Ridley Scott’s highly anticipated sci-fi alien story about human origins hit theaters today. Point blank? This trailer completely freaks me out. I would 100% advise against taking bath salts and going to see this movie. I would advise against bath salts even if you plan on just sitting at home this weekend.

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Madagascar 3: Europes Most Wanted (PG)- starring cartoons, because it is a cartoon. Voices by Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Ross from Friends and Jada Pinkett Smith

I guess Ben Stiller and Chris Rock needed more money because that is the only reason I can fathom that Madagascar 3 even exists. Doesn’t matter though. It’s a couple hours of your kids not crying or asking you to do something. You could do worse with your Saturday.

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Bel Ami (R)- starring Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci and that contemptible sparking douchebagguette from Twilight.

Nice try putting Uma and Ricci in this movie Hollywood but there is still less than zero chance that I will ever watch even 10 seconds of this movie. Although since you reminded me, I will go watch that one scene from Black Snake Moan with Christina Ricci.

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The biggest movie news this week as far as I am concerned is the leaked trailer to Quentin Tarantino’s next movie, Django Unchained. Starring Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, and the main Nazi from Inglorious Basterds (Christopher Waltz)

All I will say is this, OH MUTHACLUCKINGHELLSYES!!!!!