Madonna Denies Fans Access To Her DNA
Madonna allegedly hired a sterilisation team to rid traces of her DNA, so her fans could not steal it. What a shame, we actually were considering taking a cotton swab to the ground that Madonna walks on…
What a great way to honor those that loyally devoted themselves to making her ongoing fortune and fame possible!
This takes the term “diva” to new heights, but hell, we could use a sterilisation team in our dumpy little building.
Although it is our job to make fun of pop stars such as “Madge” and include snide, sarcastic remarks, the story speaks for itself.
[pullquote quote="We have to take extreme care like I have never seen for any other artist." credit="Alvaro Ramos, Concert Promoter for MDNA Tour"]
As part of Madonna’s preparation for tours, her sterilisation team completes an extreme wipe out of her dressing rooms. This way all of her bodily attributes will be kept sacred.
This is a let down, considering we had the telescope and petri dish ready to go. Madonna clones would make us rich! Damnit.
The object of this highly necessary procedure is to remove all of her hair skin or saliva that may have been left behind from the 53-year-olds proudly exploited body.
[pullquote quote="We cannot even look at the dressing room after it is ready, or even open the door." credit="Ramos"]
Alvaro Ramos, promoter of the Portuguese leg of Madonna’s MDNA tour, added: “We can only enter after her sterilisation team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair or anything. They will clean up everything. In the end, it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable.”
But at least now we know the underlying theme behind her tour and we’ve come to a conclusion that she really is from outer space.