“Hey what do you guys like better, nurse or cheerleader?” – Frank the Tank
Man overboard! Correction, woman overboard. Correction, blow-up doll overboard. First one to save her gets to keep her!
As we all know, blow-up dolls can have multiple uses, most of which are bizarre by nature. It is common to encounter a blow-up doll in unexpected locations, but floating down the river can be somewhat deceiving.
On July 11 there was a report that a distressed woman was floating down a river in China’s Shandong Province. According to The Huffington Post, 18 officers rushed to the scene to rescue the “woman.” The crew worked for an hour to relieve the her, from the treturous waters of course you sickos.
A crowd of 1,000 curious spectators flocked to the scene, only to find that the victim was indeed a plastic, deflated sex doll. A good 40 minutes had passed before police realized what they were heroically rescuing. Bittersweet to say the least.
When finally discovering the sex toy, the officers held it up for the crowd to see, at which point parents began shielding their children’s eyes from the non-corpse. Who would throw their girlfriend in the water in such a manner?
Although it is unknown who was responsible for her submergence into water, the presence of a sex doll in this particular city is not a mystery. Shandong is a significant producer of sex toys in China and supplies them worldwide. We’re going to Shandong, who’s coming with us?!
Krista Blore, 93.1 Jack FM