Get excited, FOOTBALL HAS RETURNED!!!! No more pretending to care about the Olympics or golf, a real sport for real Americans has arrived. That being said, other than concussions, the other thing that goes hand-in-hand with football is GAMBLING. Or, investing if you know what you’re doing. And I, Dr. Cranfill, will totally pretend like I know what I am doing with the following picks for Week 1…..
Before I start with this, as a seasoned gambling vet, I personally never wager on Week 1 games. As much as I think I know, or anybody else thinks they know, none of us REALLY know anything about ANY of these NFL teams before they start playing. I usually like to sit back a couple weeks, see what’s what THEN get after it. But if I did that, there wouldn’t be a post here for all 4 of you to read. That being said, be smart, trust your gut, and if you have a gambling problem, hit up 1-800-Gambler and get some help.
Wednesday, Sept. 5th
New York Giants (-3½) vs Dallas Cowboys
A good ol’ NFC East matchup to get the year started in New York. Last I checked, New York City isn’t the best place for a cowboy to ply his wares. Unless his wares are wearing a diaper and playing the guitar badly in Times Square. There is a reason the Giants are the defending Super Bowl Champions and the Cowboys have one lone W in the playoffs in the past 16 years. (true stat) Take the Giants to cover, the Cowboys are a mess.
New York Jets (-2½) vs Buffalo Bills
If there is any team a bigger mess than the Dallas Cowboys, it’s the New York Jets, Jets, Jets. The Tebow vs Sanchez saga. Rex Ryans mouth. Cromartie’s 11-teen sex trophies by 13 mamas. Then mix in the fact that the Jets scored only one touchdown in the entire pre-season (and that was done by their 4th stringers) and you have a nice recipe for a sh!t souffle. Take the Bills in an upset special here, even though non-elite teams USUALLY don’t fare well in season openers on the road, I think the Jets are that big of a mulch pile this year.
Washington Redskins vs New Orleans Saints (-7)
You would figure since football is America’s sport and America owes a great debt to the Native Americans, sooner or later the Redskins would be good again but no……..Yes, the Skins have them a shiny new quarterback in RGIII and yes, the Saints will be feeling the effects of Bountygate all year long, and YES, this is a home match for the Skins, NO, they have no real chance here. Mike Shanahan is a dummies dummy and it will show. Saints roll the Skins. Take the Saints to cover.
Monday Night Football (9/10)
Oakland Raiders (-2½) vs San Diego Chargers
O. MY. GOD. The Raiders are actually FAVORED? OH HERE GO HELL COME. That’s gotta be a typo right? Nope. Lemme cue you in on something here. When Vegas has the home team a favorite by 3 points or less, they are basically saying anybody can take this, but we’ll give the home team the benefit of the doubt. I say the Raiders win, cover the spread, and begin a totally sane rationale amongst their fan base that this is the year the Raiders go undefeated and claim the Super Bowl. Ahem.