The 405fwy from the 10 to 101fwy is shutting down this weekend. This sounds like a bummer when you’re asking yourself, “Ugh, how can we get to the beach when it’s going to be 100 degrees this weekend?” But actually, here are five reasons why Carmageddon doesn’t suck that hard.
1) Last year, everyone stayed home, so no one was driving. That meant there was virtually no traffic. Which means you can roller blade down Wilshire Blvd. in neon booty shorts at 3pm and practically no one will see you. OK, that’s a lie, but if you decide to do this, please let us know so JACK FM can follow you and document it.
2) Metro LA has some local events you can check out. Yep, we have public transportation in Los Angeles. Nope, it’s not really that sketchy. In fact, some of the stations are like urban museums with unique, interesting artwork. And lots of weirdo eye candy in the form of your fellow Angelenos.
3) You can listen to JACK FM in your house all day. Shockingly, some establishments actually play OTHER KINDS OF RADIO. Why go somewhere that isn’t playing JACK FM? Thanks to Carmageddon 2.0 you will never miss another “bunch of songs in a row.”
4) You can save money. Going out costs money. Staying in costs little to no money. Back in the old days, when only rich people had cars, more people saved money. Actually, we don’t know if that’s true, but we couldn’t think of five full reasons why Carmageddon doesn’t suck so we just made something semi-reasonable up.
5) If you stay home, you don’t have any reason to use iPhone’s new map app. Which just totally blows and is practically impossible to use. We know Apple apologized, but with cumbersome 3D and a snarky Siri giving driving directions, we’d rather use a Thomas Guide. Remember those?
Wow, JACK FM is old.
–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles