Whether you’ve heard the old “pretend-you’re-a-psychic-and-know-the-outcome-already” trick or the tried-and-true resident psycho trick, the only trick that really works to get out of Jury Duty is basically being dead.
Or, you can claim PTSD like this woman in Denver, Susan Cole, and then brag about it on JACK FM, and get CAUGHT.
Cole came to the courthouse looking bat-poopoo insane telling Denver District Court Judge Anne Mansfield that she had PTSD from “domestic violence in the military” according to reports.
A court reporter said that she had make-up akin to a “theater performance” and that when Cole was asked about mental illness she said she had “trouble getting ready in the morning.” (If that’s a mental illness, give us our meds, doctor.)
Because of her physical and mental state, Cole was let go. All was well and good in crazy land until Cole went on a local radio show and bragged about how she got out of jury duty.
So back to court Cole went, except this time, she is the one being sentenced. Cole was given “two-year deferred judgment for the felony count of attempting to influence a public servant, a felony, and two years of probation for the misdemeanor count of second degree perjury.” She had to do 40 hours of community service.
Doctors are up in arms about Cole’s manipulation of the justice system. Our advice? Do your time. And if you don’t, don’t call JACK FM about it.
We’re a buncha narcs here.
–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles