Here’s a question for you: what is the greatest thing in the world? The answer is simple: bacon. Yes, bacon is the greatest thing in the world. Ever. We’re not joking. Greater than the Mona Lisa. Greater than landing on the moon. Greater than, well, everything.
Here’s another question for you: how can you make something at least 1000 times better? Again, the answer is simple: just add bacon. Extensive scientific studies done here at JACK FM have shown that the Bacon Factor, or BF, accounts for roughly 99% of something’s awesomeness index, and adding bacon to a Bacon Deprived Environment, also known as a BDE, increases the awesomeness index by at least 1000%.
That rule even applies to ANYTHING, even shaving cream. It really does exist, in case you’re wondering. Created by the brilliant minds at J & D, whose motto is “Everything Should Taste Like Bacon,” their Bacon Shaving Cream is only $14.99, you’ll get a close, quality shave, and you’ll smell simply divine after you’re down. Your awesomeness index will also increase by at least 1000%, thanks to the BF.
Here are a few more of our favorite bacon delicacies:
- Bacon wrapped hotdogs
- Kevin Bacon
- Bacon rice crispy treats
- Bacon doughnuts
- Turbaconducken (a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey wrapped in bacon)
- Bacon wrapped bacon (it really does exist. Pure bliss)
What other BDEs can you add bacon to? Let us know!
-Carlos Delgado, CBS Radio