Mayans Totally DGAF About Mayan Apocalypse

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Photo by AFP//Getty Images

Photo by AFP//Getty Images

You know who doesn’t care about the Mayan apocalypse? Mayans. ‘Cuz, like, they are actually worried about realistic things like breathing, eating, living, you know the basics, instead of some wacko conspiracy theories that started in an age where hippies did a lot of experimental drugs.

A 62-year-old named Liborio Yeh Kinil has this to say: “We don’t know if the world is going to end…Remember 2006, and the ‘6-6-6’ (June 6, 2006): A lot of people thought something was going to happen, and nothing happened after all.”

Even a Mayan priest and farmer, Petronilo Acevedo Pena, though doomsy in his outlook that God will one day punish sinners for not going to church, says “the world is going to end, but we don’t know when it will end, nobody ever gave a date. They said it would be in 2000, but nothing happened.”

Mostly locals are worried about their hotels being overrun and, ummm, hippies holding hands?

“I’m worried that there are going to be more people than (hotel) rooms,” said Jose May. “The people who are coming are basically spiritual, and that could be a problem as well, because those people like to form circles to receive energy, and there is no way to reserve space for that kind of thing at the ruin sites.”

So, note to self. Don’t hold hands and try to form energy circles because Mayans don’t like it. And who knows? Maybe these modern Mayans are in cahoots with the ancient Mayans and are using how we act during this supposed apocalypse as a test on whether we are worth our weight in yerbe mate.

Or, note to self. People are insane and will try to find magic in nothing to give themselves a greater sense of excitement and/or self-worth. There’s that.


–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles

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