Looking for a toy that will keep your child occupied for about a week and that they will either lose, break, maim, or grow a creepy attachment to it in a way that is a harbinger for future social anxiety? Look no further! Hasbro has just the toy for you; the Furby.
If you’re like, “Wait. Didn’t I give my oldest child a Furby sometime in the late ’90s, along with the Tamagotchi they almost choked on?,” don’t think about it too hard. You did.
Furbys are those gremlin-looking freak-tacular dolls that serve no other purpose than to react to music, talk to each other in Furbish speak, or blink their eyes randomly, giving them a lifelike quality that puts Teddy Ruxpin to shame. We’d almost rather tickle Elmo. Wait. Nevermind.
After the Black Friday chaos, the new-fangled $54 Furbys, with their LCD eyes and ability to react to inaudible sound codes from its own Furby app, sold really well says Mashable. Walmart is even out of stock online.
You might be able to control the talkative toys with your iPhones now, but these futuristic Furbys still have that same “flaw” that delighted kids and made parents want to smash it in the face with a hammer–it doesn’t turn off. You still have to take the batteries out.
You can’t teach an old Furby that many new tricks, apparently.
–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles