Beware: Diet Soda and It’s Harmful Effects

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Mario Tama / Getty Images

Mario Tama / Getty Images

Come on, get happy. The surgeon general conveniently lists all the harmful things tobacco can do to one’s body on every pack of cigarettes, yet still a plethora of people smoke them. It is only natural to listen to the devil on your shoulder, but if you’re going to do wrong, do it the right way.

Beware of aspartame, the depression causing ingredient in diet soda. According to LAist, the National Institutes of Health found that half of all Americans are soda drinkers.No duh.

The diet soda drinkers in this equation have a 31 percent  greater risk of depression than non-soda drinkers. This same bunch was also found with a 22 percent greater risk of depression than regular soda drinkers.

Jack FM will now conveniently list all of the harmful effects diet soda can have on one’s body. Jack FM will now consider itself the angel on your shoulder. You’re welcome.

Types of Diseases and Misfortunes caused by the demonic diet beverages:

Diet Cherry Coke- Necrophilia and shaken baby syndrome.

Diet Coke- Insomnia and a gambling addiction. Naturally.

Diet Mountain Dew- Schizophrenia and will make your testicles shrink. Tragic.

Diet Dr. Pepper- Hypochondriasis and Athlete’s foot.

Drink at your own risk and don’t say we didn’t warn you!

-Krista Blore, 93.1 Jack FM

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