10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is upon us!

Just like every other year, your wife or girlfriend has some crazy reason why the two of you shouldn’t watch a porno together. And just like every other year, your crying isn’t going to convince her otherwise.

This Valentine’s Day, trust Jack FM to find you a porno with a romantic plot line, one that lets you  express your romantic sentiments of caring and togetherness.

home repair 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

Scott Olson / Getty Images

10: Repairman fixes woman’s appliance, followed by sex:

Let’s face it, the economy is in the tank.

Supporting small business is a very patriotic sentiment. In this porno, you don’t see a Sears repairman, but rather Dan from “Dan’s Repair Shop.”

Show your lady that you have a caring side, and that you support your community – that very same community in which you hope to one day raise her kids.

Auto-Repair, Sexy Real Estate, and A Parking Fine

playboy 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

Photo Credit: Tim Boyle

9: Woman’s car breaks down and she is rescued, followed by sex:

Women are always complaining that chivalry is dead. Find one of these flicks and give her a glimpse of that Knight in Shining Armor that she’s always blabbing on about.

Rescuing a damsel in distress on the side of the road is a great way to show a woman how much you value her, because there is absolutely no way you would do it for just some dude. This plot line will show her that you are willing to drop what you are doing, and that you’re willing to get greased up.


porno aisle 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

David McNew / Getty

8: Real estate agent showing a house, followed by sex:

This plotline will get your lady thinking about yours and her future love nest, where the two of you will begin the rest of your lives together.

In one such porno, star Gianna Michaels shows her male client around the her house. Watch as your gal pictures herself on that same house tour, figuring out where to put your Christmas tree! And then she’s going to want to practice making babies!

Plus, let’s face it; you’re both looking forward to moving out of your parent’s basement.


7: Cop pulls over speeding driver, followed by sex:

This one can be tricky! Make sure the cop is the female! If you reverse the roles, you run the risk of the movie seeming chauvinistic!

If you find the right cop/perp porno, you can give your lady a bit of a naughty feeling. Plus, it would be a great time to tell her about that parking ticket you still haven’t paid from that Vegas strip club.

TPS Reports, Stacy’s Mom, and Her Sore Throat

porno picture 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

Chris Hondros / Newsmakers

6: Boss seduces secretary, followed by sex:

With all the budget cuts we’re facing in this country, good secretaries are hard to find.

And who doesn’t love the age-old love story of the stressed-out, female CEO who is willing to spend her working hours with her part-time, male secretary? Who else is gonna show him the ropes?


sexy nurse 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

Peter Brandt / Getty

5: Sexy nurse cares for sick man, then they have sex:

Women have a nurturing side.

They love it when you acknowledge it.

This plotline will remind her of how good it felt to take care of you after your operation when you had your third nipple removed.

For added bonus, watch porno while underneath a flannel blanket with a comically large thermometer in your mouth.


4: Sexy mom flirts with her son’s best friend, then they have sex:

The MILF fad has been huge among American men ever since Stiffler said it in American Pie way back in 2000.

Sharing in her fantasy of seducing one of her child’s studly best friends is sure to be a hit this Valentine’s Day. Once she gets her fix, she may stop making you shave off all of your body hair. Or not. Either way, don’t forget to pick up some more razors on your way home.

The Listen Lady, Mile High Club, and Pizza Smut

porno awards 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

Ethan Miller / Getty Images

3: Woman confesses her addiction to her therapist, then they have sex:

Wanna know the best aphrodisiac for woman? Listen to them!

Right as this porno begins, she’ll notice the woman talking and the man listening. Soon, she’ll be as fired up as she was after she made you watch The Notebook!

Come to think of it, she’s probably said she wanted to watch that movie again. Or something like that. Ah, who knows! The game was on, we couldn’t hear her.


porn star 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

Alexander Sibaja / Getty Images

2: Stewardess brings pilot coffee, then they have sex:

Women love the excitement of traveling; What embodies the spirit of travel better than an airline pilot and a stewardess?

This porno will get her excited at the thought of traveling to exotic locales. Plus, no hassle of renewing your passport.

After all, who has time to travel? You’re working the early shift at Pizza Hut tomorrow, and we couldn’t find anyone to cover it for you.


1: Pizza guy delivers pizza, then they have sex:

A woman having sex with the pizza delivery guy is the first porno plot line ever penned.

Show your lady one of this porno for Valentine’s Day, and she’ll know the true sense of your loyalty. You had thousands of other pornos to choose from, but you chose the porno that shares a history with you two.

When that woman in the towel answers the door and greets the pizza guy with his extra-large sausage pizza, watch as your lady’s eyes swell up with tears. Our hero!


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Landing that elusive Valentine’s Day porno with the little lady can be a nearly impossible feat if you go about it with the male mindset. So embrace your feminine sides, gentlemen! 

Light some candles, open a bottle of wine, and get those Denny’s value meals to-go, because you have just embarked on the Perfect Valentine’s Date!


BONUS LINKS:

valentines cards 10 Porno Plot Lines That She Will Find Romantic This Valentines Day

SIA KAMBOU / AFP / Getty

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