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Researchers Say Beer Goggles Aren’t “Real,” Your Excuses Are Invalid Sir

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Photo by Peter Macdiarmiud//Getty Images

Photo by Peter Macdiarmiud//Getty Images

Sorry, dude. Next time you hook up with a 5, you can’t claim to your buddies that you thought she was a 10 under the perverted push of your new buddy Pabst Blue Ribbon.

In actuality, your brain knew she wasn’t quite a looker but your second brain, you know, the fabled one down there, didn’t care.

According to a study by Durham University in the United Kingdom, your standards are the same, it’s your libido that’s different.

“There is no imagined physical transformation, just more desire,” said study psychologist Dr. Amanda Ellison.  “Alcohol switches off the rational and decision-making areas of the brain while leaving the areas to do with sexual desire relatively intact.”

So, basically all your programmed “intellect,” that stuff teachers and parents beat into you since you popped out of the womb, disappears and you go back to caveman brain–hooking up with anyone who is biochemically attractive versus superficially attractive.

The weird part? While another person won’t become more attractive to you, alcohol actually makes you more attractive to yourself.  This explains why drunk girls take hundreds of selfies in bar bathroom mirrors.

Oh, and from no one don’t blame your beer goggles; blame your primitive brain.


–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles

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