Hopefully this weekend you’re more green with, ermmm, happiness from the lovin’ of a lusty leprechaun lass than green around the gills from too much Guinness, but if you are imbibing in excess, don’t count on having the luck o’ the Irish at your side.

If the road rises up to greet you, you’ve been drinking too much and according to the LA Weekly, a first-time DUI offense fine is a whopping $15, 649. That’s a lot of money, bro.

Also, it’s just horrible to drive intoxicated so get a designated driver or walk. It’s a weird concept, walking, but it works.

Plus, the streets will be clogged with LAPD getting in your face because they will be on “high alert.”

Normally they release the DUI checkpoints, but not this time!

They’ve warned that there will be “saturation patrols to increase the motoring safety of our resident and those who visit our city,” but this time around they aren’t letting you take side streets to circumvent their breathalyzers.

Be safe. Don’t drive drunk. If you can’t drive, better to fall asleep in a paddy of four-leaf clovers than in a cell with a boozy bosom buddy.

–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles