Probably the most antiquated Thanksgiving tradition that still exists, the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade is one of those things that old people and toddlers like to watch to distract themselves from their petulant family members and the fact that they have to cook a 15-million course meal for those aforementioned members. Still, something about a floating turkey can warm even the most cynical of hearts.
And if you aren’t down with eating that turkey, you aren’t allowed to participate on certain floats, apparently. Rock goddess, Joan Jett, was scheduled to appear on a float repping South Dakota, was told she couldn’t be on the float because she is a vegetarian and South Dakotan ranchers wanted her gone since she is a protester of South Dakota’s major export: livestock production.
Jodie Anderson of the South Dakota Cattlemen’s Association explained: :So, of course, when we learned that about Miss Jett, we were rightly concerned about her representing South Dakota and a state that is so heavily reliant on agriculture and livestock production to drive our economy.”
As one of the only cool people we’ve heard mentioned in conjunction with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade in, like, ever, Jett will still get to perform on another float.
“I’ve decided to switch from South Dakota to another float because people’s political agendas were getting in the way of what should be a purely entertainment driven event. I will remain focused on entertaining the millions of people watching, who will be celebrating a great American tradition,” explained Jett diplomatically.
Eating a million turkey dinners, no doubt.
–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles