By Jordy Altman
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, POLICE CHASE.
On a wild Saturday night near Arlington, Virg., hundreds of patriotic party-animals celebrated America’s birthday early at the citywide All American Bar Crawl. The bar-hopping event promised a day packed with “Star Spangled shenanigans,” with visits and stops at over a dozen local bars. Participants were issued a souvenir event mug, patriotic party favors, and exclusive drink & food specials.
While that’s may seem like enough fun for most of us, one beer-touting nationalist wanted to experience a different tried-and-true Americana pastime – getting thrown in the back of a police escort.
Just past 8:00 p.m., police report that one man who had been participating in the bar crawl stopped drinking for a brief moment to strip off his clothes and show off his dipstick. After disrobing in Goody’s, a pizza restaurant participating in the festivities, the drunken patriot ran outside, waving his “flag” and chanting, “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!”
Once outside, Arlington County Police quickly pursued and gave chase, until the grown man hopped into a car and took off. Police cruisers followed the drunk driver through nearby neighborhoods, an adjacent city, and even down the wrong way of a one-way street, before he struck two parked cars and came to a complete stop. The man, still naked, leaped from the vehicle and tried to engage in a slow-speed chase before getting tased by a police officers and taken into custody.
He is expected to be booked at the Arlington County Detention Center on numerous charges including indecent exposure and driving while intoxicated. Is he a hero? Absolutely not – but when one drunk fool stands above a crowd of his drunk peers, legends are born. Seen below is a tweet from the bar event, featuring a branch of the bar crawl crowd gathered and chanting “U-S-A!” along with the detained nude man.
— NBCWashington (@nbcwashington) June 29, 2014
Happy Fourth of July everybody.