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Pull My Finger! This Fart Might Cure Your Cancer

By Jordy Altman

Turns out Dad wasn’t a practical joker – he was a scientist.

Have you ever been stuck in an elevator with a crop duster? Or what about the silent-but-deadly cubicle mate? Or even worse, Grandma’s loosey-goosey air-biscuts at Applebee’s. If you’ve experienced any of these natural phenomenon, congratulations – you unwillingly participated in nature’s newest cancer-prevention treatment.

Scientists out of the University of Exeter recently discovered that hydrogen sulfide – the gas produced when bacteria breaks down your food – offers incredible health benefits that may reduce your risk of cancer, diabetes, stroke, heart attacks, and even dementia.

In a University release, Dr. Mark Wood claims that, “hydrogen sulfide gas is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases.”

But how does one capture the natural healing qualities of a poot? Professor Matt Whiteman of the Medicinal Chemistry Communications Journal created a compound called AP39, which slowly delivers small amounts of the artificial gas to powerhouse cells, like mitochondria. AP39 could provide the necessary energy to drive healing production in various blood vessels.

Synthetic sphincter whistles as a cure-all? Who knew!

The newly designed compound could be the secret to future therapies. While research is still being conducted in several models of disease, the preliminary results are promising. In fact, we’ve been inspired to join the fight – if you’re looking to contribute to the cause, meet us down the street at the egg salad and cauliflower lunch buffet. Together, we can fart away the disease.

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