By Jordy Altman
If you get Room Service to deliver pot to your hotel room, do you leave a cash tip?
One resident of a Seattle, Wash. hotel was hoping to get the chance to answer this question, but wasn’t around to find out. Police report that a mysterious package was left outside of a vacant unit at the downtown Four Seasons Hotel last Thursday. The parcel was unmarked, sans for two #YOLOSWAGLOL (unconfirmed) stickers and a crude drawing of the band Phish (unconfirmed). Despite the dubious doobie markings, one hotel porter hand-delivered the box to room 420 (unconfirmed).
When nobody answered the call of the bellhop – maybe the resident was out grabbing some salty snacks – the package was left on the doorstep. And when somebody leaves an unattended package in public place, the police usually respond with immediate criminal action. At noon, Seattle police and firefighters appeared on the scene of the crime along with a hazardous materials crew. At 12:45pm, the arson and bomb squad joined the position. The “lumpy package covered in plastic wrap” had drawn quite the response, yet somehow, someway, the hotel resident was still absent at the scene.
After a tense standoff, police officials opened the package to discover… six pounds of marijuana, covered in several layers of packaging and petroleum jelly. The report does not list whether it was kind bud or shwiggity swag, but regardless six pounds of marijuana is above the one-ounce legal limit in Washington. Police were forced to confiscate the package after the ordeal wrapped in the late afternoon. The response team announced they were returning the package to the station where it would be destroyed by the evidence unit.
Yeah, right. We bet you’re going to “destroy the evidence” with the help of Johnny Chimpo and his Afghanistanimation.