Dozens Hospitalized After Being Exposed to Country Music
By Jordy Altman
“Like a hand out the window in the wind, as the cars go by… It’s all we’ve been given so you better start livin’ right now.”
Country music has a rich history of giving solid life advice. From kickin’ the mud off yer boots to treating your truck like a girlfriend, the country music industry has enriched the lives of their fans for over a hundred years.
So it was quite the surprise when dozens were hospitalized after being exposed to a country music concert headlined by Keith Urban. After finishing a rousing rendition of his hit, “Nobody Drinks Alone,” several dozen people were treated for alcohol-related illness in Mansfield, Mass.
Scientists are still conducting research on the correlation between country songs about alcohol and ending up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning. Many professionals in the field believe that Urban’s songs about consuming liberal amounts of alcohol played a significant role in the fans’ hospital admission for consuming liberal amounts of alcohol. Others attending the concert propose a theory that, “the concert was just sooooo good and just I wanted one more and leave me alooooooone.”
Ambulances from the five surrounding communities responded to concert on Saturday night. Over 40 individuals were treated at the concert venue, while 22 Keith Urban fans were taken to local hospitals. According to the police report, more than 50 additional fans were taken into protective custody at the concert for disorderly conduct. Some of those fans now face charges, while others are focusing on selling their autographed underwear on eBay.
The Country Music Star turned American Idol Judge was not available for comment.