Magical. Simply magical.
Admittedly all my picks last week were Hail Marys. But unlike those jerks from Tempe my Hail Mary’s all fell incomplete. Well, Antone Smith for the Falcons had a nice game (3 catches, 83 yards and 1 TD)..but the rest?
But, I doubled up on the Adderall and doubled down on the research for this weeks picks…BEHOLD! The pale horse that is my Week 6 picks…
1) Ryan Tannehill QB (Mia)-Telling you to start Tannehill is akin to somebody peeing on your chest and/or face to neutralize a jellyfish sting. It’s humiliating. It’s degrading. It’s sickening but in the end it might just save your life. That might be a little dramatic but I do think Tannehill is going to throw a ton trying to keep up with Aaron Rodgers. Prediction– 288 yards, 2 tds, 2 INT.
2) Bishop Sankey RB (Tenn)-If Bishop Sankey helps you win your game of horseshoes this week you owe me a watermelon. Then we’ll go climb trees and skip rocks. Do like they do below the border. Tennessee? Tennessee. Ok, enough obscure 90’s hip-hop references for one week. Prediction– 16 carries 121 yards, 1 TD
3) Storm Johnson RB (Jax)-Now that we’re sure Toby Gearhart is no Mike Alstott the Storm Johnson era can begin in Jacksonville. I want this guy on my team simply because he’s got the third best name in all the NFL. Behind Barkevious Mingo and Vontaze Burfict of course. Prediction– 11 carries, 88 yards, 28 yards receiving, 1 TD
4) Justin Hunter WR (Tenn)- Wait. Is this the third player from the Jax/Tenn game I’m picking? Well..would you have any other reason to ever watch a Jaguars/Titans game if it weren’t for Fantasy Football? Nope. For real though if Hunter is still available in your league get him now. Just like Antone Smith from last week this is a guy that is going to pay off big for owners later in the year. Prediction– 6 catches 101 yards, 2 TDs.
5) Vikings DST-Starting the Vikings DST on this, or any other week, is pretty much just lunacy but DAMMIT!! THE BLOOD MOON FROM WEDNESDAY HAS MY BLOOD UP! LET’S DO IT! Prediction– 13.00 Pts
*Disclaimer: I shouldn’t need to tell you to start guys like Andrew Luck, Jamal Charles, or Ricky Proehl. The players I mention here are bench, free agent types that could help you thru your bye weeks and injuries*