Jacked Up News

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Machete Wielding Adult Toy Store Security Guard Thwarts Dildo Thief Despite Being Attacked By A Bong

By Jordy Altman It was a long, hard day at the Couples Mega Outlet in Anaheim. A young would-be-thief learned the hard way that stealing a bushel of dildos while brandishing a bong as a […]



High Guys Smashes a Watermelon With His Face and Records It On Video

By Jordy Altman Ever visited the highdeas.com? It’s an online community dedicated to sharing unique or insightful ideas that are born under the influence of cannabis. Brilliant thoughts like “White chocolate milk,” “Morgan Freeman GPS,” […]


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Genius Groom Fakes His Own Death to Get Out of Wedding

By Jordy Altman There’s gotta be a better way to call off your own wedding. Faking your own death shouldn’t be at the top of your list. However, one young bride-to-be quickly discovered that her […]


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Police Recognize Robbery Suspect When He Beats Them In Donut Eating Contest

By Jordy Altman Looks like this criminal bit off more than he could chew… U2 – Sweetest Thing One felon just couldn’t get enough. Bradley Hardison, a 24-year-old man from Elizabeth City, North Carolina had […]


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Kids These Days: Young Man Shoots Himself While Posing with Gun for Facebook Selfie

By Jordy Altman Camera: Point, click, shoot. Gun: Point, click, shoot. See? It can get a little confusing… Last weekend, Oscar Aguilar, a young man who loved taking selfies, posed with a handgun when he […]


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Kids These Days: Santa Ana Teen Burns Himself After Trying Internet Meme, The Fire Challenge (NSFW-ish)

By Nadia Noir And you thought snorting condoms or eyeball licking was bad. The newest internet craze to sweep the nation is The Fire Challenge.  What does that mean? Lighting yourself on fire, whether it be […]


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Dozens Hospitalized After Being Exposed to Country Music

By Jordy Altman “Like a hand out the window in the wind, as the cars go by… It’s all we’ve been given so you better start livin’ right now.” Country music has a rich history […]


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Dell Laptop Computer Explodes, Injuring Senior Citizen

By Brad Segall and Elizabeth Hur MIDDLETOWN TOWNSHIP, Pa. (CBS) — Fire officials in Bucks County are investigating what caused a laptop computer to explode, injuring the woman who was using it inside her Langhorne […]


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Naked Bar Crawl Participant Chants “USA,” Leads Police On High Speed Chase

By Jordy Altman One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, POLICE CHASE. On a wild Saturday night near Arlington, Virg., hundreds of patriotic party-animals celebrated America’s birthday early at the citywide All American Bar Crawl. The […]


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Man Charged For Throwing Football Full of Drugs, Contraband Into Prison Yard

By Jordy Altman That’s one lumpy football. A Detroit man is facing at least fifteen years in prison for hurling a contraband-stuffed football into a state prison yard in Jackson, Mich. The football was a […]