Countless television shows, blockbuster movies and comic books have taken on the “end of the world” scenario and thrust the public consciousness into preparedness hype. In fact, the emergency preparedness craze has spawned a whole industry that capitalizes on people’s fear of imminent doom and survival with endless products. While some people have really taken to extremes in building underground shelters, the online sales and popularity of fully stocked “Bug Out Bags” are the common and convenient alternative. Filled with everything you could need in the event of an emergency, most people opt for buying one of these bags and having it on hand. Of course, Angelenos are just too cool to get caught up in buying these apocalypse survival kits, so we’d naturally be caught off guard if a zombie plague took over the city and a comet struck the white house. So what would an Angeleno need to survive the apocalypse? Check out the 12 items you’d probably find in an Angeleno’s survival bag.
1.) A Yoga MatThere are going to be thousands upon thousands of lives lost and the city will be in ruins, we’re gonna need some internal balance if we hope to survive the end of the world.
2.) Your Original ScreenplayYou never know who you meet when you’re scrounging for scraps. You know its those of us who hang on to hope that will triumph and endure.
3.) A Guru, Housekeeper and Pet PsychicThere is no chance an Angeleno could survive a dystopian lifestyle without spiritual guidance, a little help with the trash and a psychic to help with their little friends.
4.) Medical MarijuanaThose plumes of smoke won’t just be coming from the city’s burning buildings, anxious Angelenos are gonna need to medicate.
5.) Dodgers CapEven if they’re all dead, you’re still gotta “rep” the Dodgers, homie.
6.) Your Small DogCan’t make it through all that hell fire and brimstone without our “ride or die.”
7.) MacBook Pro & an iPhoneThose four seasons of The Walking Dead in your Netflix queue are gonna be essential to your survival and your gonna need your flashlight app.
8.) Coachella PassesThere’s no way it would get cancelled.
9.) Gingerade KombuchaGonna need those probiotics to help with digestion, we’ll worry about actual food later.
10.) Sriracha SauceAs Angelenos, we just can’t eat a meal without it. If we’re gonna be reduced to living off of roasted squirrels then we’re need to spice it up.
11.) Electronic CigaretteThat two hundred dollar “vape” kit you bought on Melrose just before the world came to an end earned you seriously legit status.
12.) KaleForget the essentials like a flashlight and a first aid kit, you have to stay healthy throughout this ordeal.
13.) An In-N-Out Double DoubleForget everything else, if you could leave everything else off the list, you’d bring just this one thing. Has to be animal style of course.